In the late winter of March 10, 1971, on a Wednesday evening, Lilli Vincenz and her then partner Marcelle opened their home at 5411 South 8th Place in Arlington, VA,  to a group of women in search of a safe place to meet other lesbians or those who wanted to explore their possible lesbianism.

 
The Wednesday evening open houses quickly became known as the Gay Women's Open House offering women in the area a casual social environment where women could be themselves without fear of exposure or judgment.  Lilli and Marcelle's open house ran weekly -- rain or shine -- from 1971 through 1978; in 1979, the meetings became monthly.
the first ad for the Gay Women's Open House in the April 1971 GAY BLADE
(c) Window Media

How GWOH happened:
 

In a January 23, 1973 interview for Radio Free Women on WGTB radio (now defunct), Lilli and Marcelle and a young woman named Sheel recounted how one of the unexpected effects of the Kameny for Congress campaign in 1971 was a deluge of phone calls from women calling the Mattachine Society of Washington to talk about and explore their own lesbianism.  As out lesbian women, many of the calls were referred to Lilli and Marcelle.  Their phone number quickly became a resource point for lesbian women.
[Left: Marcelle (l.) and Lilli (r.), cofounders of the open house looking at their dog Plum; Below: Meg Christian, who performed at open houses, giving Marcelle (face to camera) a guitar lesson.}
 
 

671 - 3762

the phone number (now out of service) for Lilli Vincenz and the Gay Women's Open House

In order to deal with the number of phone inquiries, she and another woman created a regularly scheduled gathering for any woman who though she might be gay.  In February, 1971 they had announced a women's consciousness raising discussion group.  By March, it was a gay women's open house.  As Lilli recalled, the evenings were unstructured and open.

"You didn't have to be a full-fledged lesbian. As long as you think you have a little bit of gayness in you ... " you were welcome.  She added, "If you are straight, we don't encourage you because we want this to be a place where gay women can let down their hair without being evaluated by straight women."

The open houses were held weekly from 1971 through 1978.  In 1979, GWOH met only monthly.  In 1980, the Gay Women's Alternative opened to provide an alternative to bars for local lesbians.
 
 
 
 

What GWOH offered
 

The Gay Blade, October 1972, (c) Window Media

An oral history in the Rainbow History collection recalls that

"... it was a great environment because it wasn't a bar and it was in her living room.  She opened up her house ... And it was cruising without cruising in that it was a very comfortable environment, but yet people there were predominately single and just trying to reach out and find each other."

The open house regularly drew 15 to 20 women on a single evening, with some events drawing more than 50.  Most of those attending were in their 20s and 30s but the ages ranged through those in their 50s.  Lilli remembers that there "... was no generation gap.  We were exposed to all kinds of women."  There was a large turnover as women found new friends and social groups.  In 1973, Lilli commented, "It pleased me no end when people find their own social milieu."

The evenings became a focal point for women seeking information about other activities.  The bulletin board and information tables at the Gay Women's Open Houses were among the most complete in the area.  One person who attended remarked that "... it was from your house that I got the feeling of community" and that the organizers had "everything set up that is affecting women and gays."
 
 

Does your Mother know you're here?

No, but my daughter does!  (handwritten comment on the sign)

sign in the kitchen of Lilli Vincenz's home

From time to time, the open house featured entertainment including performances by Meg Christian and other women artists, poetry readings, occasional films (including Lilli's own films), and special themed parties for holidays and personal events such as birthdays.
 

 

Spin-offs and other effects
Within a few years of the creation of the Gay Women's Open House, other women organized open houses.  The first one in Washington, DC was on 17th Street.  At their peak there were six open houses in the metropolitan area. Many women who attended the evenings at Lilli's went on to other involvements in the feminist and the lesbian and gay community.

A curious side effect was that Kay Tobin Lahusen, a lesbian leader in her own right, mentioned the Gay Women's Open House to women in New York City who formed a similar group at a church on Central Park West in New York.  The New York group called itself the Gay Women's Alternative (GWA), was founded by Kay Tobin Lahusen and two other women, and ran for 20 years.  In turn, women brought the idea of GWA to Washington in the early 80s and created a local Gay Women's Alternative here, just as Lilli's own Gay Women's Open House was ending.  The idea had come full circle.
 

Lilli Vincenz
Dismissed from her position as a psychiatric technician at Walter Reed Army Hospital because of her lesbianism,
Lilli Vincenz became an early member of the Mattachine Society of Washington (MSW).  She was prominently involved in MSW activities as an open lesbian (though with the pseudonym Lilli Hansen), participating in picketing from 1965, appearing with Dr Kameny and Jack Nichols on local television, and editing the organization's journal The Homosexual Citizen.  From the beginning she served as MSW's secretary and was a member of the executive board. She was also prominently involved in Dr Kameny's 1971 campaign for Washington, DC's new congressional seat.  From 1969 to 1971 she wrote a column for the New York paper, GAY!.

1965 First Protest at the Pentagon - Lilli Vincenz, second from left
photo by Kay Tobin Lahusen

In 1972, Lilli Vincenz was encouraged to become a counselor for the gay community by psychologist and author Dr. George Weinberg.  She had helped Dr. Weinberg with his seminal book Society and the Healthy Homosexual (1972) -- in which he named and described the concept of homophobia -- by allowing him to interview willing volunteers from the GWOH.

Her interest in psychology led her to a master's degree in clinical psychology, and subsequently to work as a psychotherapist in 1975.  Her continuing education included a doctorate in human development and psychology in 1990.  The following year, in 1991, she and Nancy Davis, her life partner since 1984, founded the Program for Creative Self Development (later called the Community for CSD), a holistic learning community to empower gay women and men and all gay-friendly people creatively, spiritually, and psychologically.  It was active till 2004.  Now, still working as a psychotherapist, Lilli Vincenz keeps nurturing her fiddling skills (she played on Meg Christian's first album on the Scars track [from the 1974 LP I Know You Know]), and currently is playing solo and in groups locally.
 
 

The Blade, April 1971, p. 9 (c) Window Media
 

 

If you have memories of the Gay Women's Open House that you would like to share, please email them to:

mark@rainbowhistory.org