In Her Own Words

 
I believe my story is what it is.  It's a story.  I don't believe it's any better or any worse than anybody else's story.

I was reared in Newport News, Virginia.  I was a southern belle.  I came out when I was 25 and I moved to Washington when I was 25.  I was a late bloomer.  I moved here from Virginia Beach; I had become a beach bum and decided since I was out of school and knew a little bit about the lifestyle and because I had a brother who lived here, ... who was also gay... I came here to live with him.  It was on Capitol Hill. This was 1985.  Those were really good days for me.  Having a gay brother really set the tone for how I wanted to live my life.  He belonged to the Clubhouse and we used to do a lot of dancing.  All of his friends became my friends.
 

My brother gave me the three rules of Washington:

Get a job
Keep a job, and
Keep a place to stay.

People always ask the question, "Are you black first, or are you a woman first."  I have to be honest with you, in my household no one talked about the color of my skin but they certainly reminded me that I was a girl.  So when it comes to my sexuality, it is less important to my race and my sex, because it is less visible ... my sexuality is important to me and if I want to make it important to others, it's through education and sharing my story.
 

... I can't stop fighting racism, because no matter how old I get I'm still going to be black.  I can't stop fighting [sexism] because no matter how old I get I'm still going to be a woman.  I can't stop fighting some of the other isms I see because I can't change those things.  I'm going to change the culture and begin to work with people who want to change the culture.

It wasn't until I got to NOW [National Organization of Women] and I started reading the case studies and I started listening to what the work was about that I said, yeah, I was a victim ... I was victimized all my life behind this bullshit called racism, sexism, homophobia.  I put names on my pain.  I had not done that.  If there was anything that changed my life more than my sexuality, it was understanding that there was a place to take my pain.  I wasn't alone, and that was a beautiful thing about being at NOW.
 

I went to China.  I went to the World Conference on women in 1995 which was the highlight of my career, to be a part of this radical wonderful group of people from around the world.  I went there to talk about lesbianism and that fact that lesbian rights was not part of the platform and that it would not be in the platform of action ... I was appalled ... What we first saw was that lesbianism was such a needed topic.

By the time I got to HRC [Human Rights Campaign] I saw the gay movement from a national perspective but I saw what it really was.  It was a microcosm of wealthy gay white men, white women, who were also racist.  There was a line.  And everything below that line, there were people, people of color, Latinos, African Americans, men, women, parents, who weren't included in this other echelon of gay society.  And to me that was a bar ...

And one thing that I like about HRC is that they know how to do marketing ... I have to give them credit for being the best marketers out there in marketing the gay and lesbian message.  That's what attracted me to them.  I wanted to learn how to raise money the way they did.  I wanted to learn everything I could from them.
 

I did an event called CLOAVE, Collective Lesbians of African Descent Voices Everywhere [in 1997].  CLOAVE was about bringing people together from anywhere, during Black Pride.  Having been disillusioned with all of these movements ... I didn't want another damn organization ... I was trying to find freedom within the movement.

You've got to understand that the younger generation of political people are slam poets.  They're doing it with their art, with their rap music.  They're doing it in other ways.  They're not on the street in marches the way we did it.  I got involved in the slam movement because that's where the activists are.
 

I still believe in the people in the movement, I just don't choose to do what they do.  I'm political.  Right now it's about elected office.  I would love to see more blacks and gays running for political office.  And I think you don't have to run as a gay or as a black but I think if we don't get on these school boards, if we don't get involved at the grass roots level ... if we just stop the labels, I think we'd all be better served.

Right now I am taking care of myself.  I'm trying to get my Masters ... Right now, it's about my wife, my spouse, and myself and developing a life, which very few of us take the time to do.